Yet Another Christmas Carol
by dagomir
Summary: Charles Dickens's timeless classic meets ShizNat. Plus a little cute six year old girl on the side :P Warning: may contain more than traces of Christ in Christmas!
1. Chapter 1

Three people sat at the breakfast that day: two adult women and a girl of the tender age of six.

Other than obligatory pleasantries and requests for soy sauce or rice, not many words were exchanged by them. Watching this scene from the side, one would most probably have trouble believing that this family was once loving and joyful.

Sitting at the head of the table was Natsuki Kruger, a young and successful businesswoman, the co-founder and sole owner of Otome Infusions, a company dealing in teas and tisanes. Orphaned very early by her mother and never knowing her father, she made it the purpose of her life to reach the top. The most diligent student during her school years, the most hard-working apprentice a successful international multi-branch company, the most persistent customer treading paths from office to office while building her own company from scratch. Yet, if one had asked her then about her most precious thing, her response might have been surprising. For she wouldn't have mentioned her business, not even for a second would have her thoughts stray in that direction. There was something much more important. Somebody, whose smallest smile could light up her entire world, even after a long, uneventful day.

Shizuru Viola was Natsuki's first and only love. They met as adolescents and after a little bumpy start, they stuck together through thick and thin. In this, Shizuru proved a glaring contradiction to what society generally thought about people sharing her profession. Ever since she laid her eyes on the brash entrepreneur, there was no other muse to her paintings, no other inspiration. Time flew for them both really fast and before they even noticed, they were in love and then married. After a few years, at Natsuki's insistence, they adopted an abandoned infant, a lovely dark-eyed girl named by her new caretakers Kiyoko, a "pure child".

* * *

The breakfast the three of them shared that morning was nothing like the meals at the beginnings of their family life. As per Natsuki's request, the meal proceeded in silence so that she could work in peace. Long gone was the rule she had set herself; the rule stating that table time was meant for being together.

One of the household members still had some trouble adhering to the new order, though.

"Mommy," the child's voice resounded clearly in the silence. "I don't want the milk. It's too hot."

Shizuru noticed the telltale twitch of her wife's left eyebrow. Yet, the long fingers were still scrolling through the text displayed on the tablet screen and the emerald eyes were still focused on the reading.

"Mommy…" Kiyoko's tone became whiny. "Miss Maria will get angry at me. We have the rehearsal today. The milk will be hot forever!"

By this time, the twitch was joined by a grimace of the tight lips and the finger-scrolling faltered for a moment. Still, with a few sips of bitter black coffee, the explosion was put off. Shizuru knew her wife well enough to know that the delay was only temporary. And so, she tried to placate their girl, blowing on her milk to cool it at least a little bit.

"There's skin on it!" Kiyoko seemed oblivious to the tension between her parents. "I hate skin. It's gooey and yuck, and it makes…"

"Enough!" Natsuki slammed both her hands onto the table. "Young lady, you will not sulk at my table. I work my fingers to the bone to put food in your plate so don't even think about wasting it just because you don't like something."

The girl looked up at her mother, scared by this outburst. Her lower lip trembled and tears were on the verge of falling from her eyes. She turned for help to her other mommy who would most probably take the skin off for her, was it not for the fear of further angering her wife.

"Oh no, young lady, you will not cry your way out of this." Natsuki cleared Kiyoko's dishes, leaving only the cursed mug. "You are not to move from your seat until you finish your milk."

Paying no further attention to her family, Natsuki gathered her belongings from the table and made it toward the front door. From the threshold, she turned back.

"Shizuru, I expect you to make sure she actually does drink it down. It's high time you started bringing her up properly. She's much too pampered!"

And with a slam, she was gone to work.

* * *

Having seen Kiyoko off to school, excused her lateness and cleaned up the mess left after their breakfast, Shizuru finally had a chance to sit down with a cup of tea. Cradling her favourite clay mug in both hands, she took a whiff of the delicate aroma of chamomile. The smell always calmed her mind and didn't fail to do it now.

It wasn't even noon yet, and she was already exhausted. After Natsuki's departure, Kiyoko threw a tantrum about the milk skin and being late for the rehearsal. As much as it pained her to see her daughter so distressed, she knew that Natsuki was at least partially right. And so the two of them spent a terrible half an hour in an intense battle of wills which ended with Kiyoko forcefully swallowing the skin and milk mixed with her own tears. All the time she looked ready to throw up and when Shizuru tried to hug her after her ordeal, the girl pushed her away.

Shizuru sighed and raised the mug to her lips only to hiss when the hot tea scorched her tongue. Still, she was too far gone in her thoughts to stay irritated by a thing like this. Turning her eyes to the wall calendar and counting days left till Christmas, she absentmindedly ran her fingers around the mug rim, smiling when they hit that chip she remembered so well.

Happy memories were cut short by an alarm clock beeping. Shizuru stood from her seat and reached into the cupboard. From behind her tea and tisane selection stash, she took out a couple of unlabelled vials. A few moments later, she once again checked the pills in her hand - more by habit than from the need to be sure, by now she could take them with her eyes closed - and swallowed them all at once, taking a few gulps of tap water afterwards.

Grabbing the mug on her way out, she left the kitchen and went to her loft studio. She stopped at the threshold, leaned against the doorframe. There laid her kingdom: canvas, paints, brushes, paintings at various stages of completion, sketches strewn across the floor. With the exhibition approaching, she really needed to do some work, even if this day she didn't feel like it. But this will be the last for the time being. After that, she should have just enough funds to put her plan into action.

Setting half-finished tea by the door frame, Shizuru stepped past the threshold. This was the battle she fought for her family. She intended to win it.

* * *

"I don't care if you're not ready. I want these samples on my desk tomorrow morning… No, I've already given you more time." Natsuki strained to keep her voice steady but the almost pleading tone of the other speaker didn't make this easy. "I want this blend to be this holidays' bestseller. I should have started advertising it by the end of November, at latest. Good thing your mistress is way smarter than you and managed to create a whole campaign without one thing certain."

Casting a glance at her watch, Natsuki swore under her breath. Yet another day was nearing its end without her achieving anything worth mentioning.

"Cut it out, Helene," she sharply interrupted the woman on the other end of the line. "Pregnancy is no disease. Unless your condition is so grave that you can't get out of bed and," Natsuki stressed the last word, preventing any possible interjections, "you have a signed medical note to prove that, either bring me the samples or don't bother coming back to work."

With that, she hung up and looked at the papers scattered across her desk. So much work to be done, day after day filled with work through and through. But if her past taught her anything, it was that she could count only on herself, that if things were to be done right and on time, she could not pass them onto others. Even if this meant that she spent whole days cooped in this office, up to her ears in invoices, notes and agreements.

Suddenly, the door to her office burst open and in came a furious redhead. Seeing Natsuki still seated behind her desk, the woman stopped in her tracks and even took a few steps back. Under Kruger's inquiring gaze, she hastened to explain:

"I thought you were already gone for the dinner, Boss. I'll come back later."

"The dinner with the officials!" Natsuki almost slapped her forehead in irritation. Between the morning fight with Kiyoko, Helene's tardiness with getting the new blend ready and myriad of other problems, the event nearly slipped her mind. Quickly gathering the papers she wanted to work on that night, she snarled at her assistant and copywriter:

"If you came to complain on behalf of your lover, Sugiura, don't even bother. She knew the conditions before accepting this job."

"Boss, but you could cut her some slack." Midori still tried to defend the company's researcher. "We're expecting in two months and the kind of flavour you want to achieve with this blend isn't exactly easy to create."

"Cut the crap, Sugiura. I gave her more than enough time. Oh, and by the way," Natsuki turned back from the door. "I need to get something from home before the meeting. I want you to greet the officials and keep them company till my arrival."

"It was Nao's job…" Just as Natsuki stepped past the threshold, a soft whisper reached her ears. She turned back to Midori, waiting for her to elaborate. "When Nao lived, she was the one taking care of guests and public relations."

"Why do you bring her up now?" asked Kruger angrily, surprisingly disconcerted by the mention of her long-time business partner.

"It's nearly her death anniversary. Remember? She died on Christmas Eve, two years ago…"

"See to the officials," barked Natsuki, leaving the room immediately after.

* * *

_**Hello there, girls and boys :)**_

_**It's this time of year that can't be without nth re-read or re-watch of Dickens's 'Christmas Carol'. Here's my take on that :) The story will be published through the 12 days of Christmas, most probably one chapter every other day.**_

_**As a word of warning: for the sake of this story, Shizuru and Natsuki are christians, celebrating the occasion as something more than just tree, santa and gifts. If you're allergic to mention of God, you may want to reconsider reading this story ;) JK**_

_**Very Merry Christmas, dears! May God bless you :***_

_**dag**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Nao Zhang_

_13.06.1984-24.12.2011_

_Lived until death - Died the way she lived_

Just three lines, a couple of numbers and handful of words. It was all that was left of Nao Zhang, once a good-looking and savvy businesswoman.

With a sigh, Shizuru lit a candle and placed it carefully on the gravestone. Sweeping her fingers over the late woman's photo, she smiled melancholically. She remembered when it was taken a few years before Zhang's death.

* * *

Nao was always proud of her waist-long, deep-red hair and took great care of it. It even became a subject of jokes from her colleagues when she was constantly late for any party or social event because she took so long time grooming it. At the time, nobody knew it was soon to change.

It happened when Otome Infusions was still in its infancy. With some holiday or festival approaching, Natsuki and Nao spent every waking moment in the company, experimenting with a new tisane blend. Oftentimes, they even slept in the office to cut down on the commuting time. On one such occasion, they worked themselves so hard that they fell asleep at their workbenches, among various ingredients, samples and a portable stove. The stove that one of them forgot to turn off after heating the water for trying the current taste combination. Nao, who couldn't lay still even in her sleep, moved closer and closer and it was only a matter of time that her hair caught on fire. Thankfully, the stench woke the women very quickly so no serious damage was done. Not counting Nao's scorched hair, that is. Yet, anyone worrying how she would take this blow to her pride was more than surprised when the next day she showed up with her hair cut boyish-short and with an unlit cigarette hanging from her lips, visibly pleased with her new image.

That's just how Nao Zhang was. Always going with the flow, taking whatever life brought her way and using it to her own advantage. She had her way with words, achieving things that Natsuki with her much more temperamental nature could not.

* * *

"Nao…" Shizuru sat by the grave, her eyes fixed on the flickering candlelight. "If there is heaven, I know you've already sneaked your way into. Bribed saint Peter or maybe found some back entrance…" A sigh. "For the sake of the past, go to the one that runs that place and ask for a little blessing for us. Nothing big, not a miracle - just a little favour to what I'm about to do… You know, ask the way only you knew how…" The woman looked up, blinking furiously.

* * *

Otome Infusions was slowly but steadily growing, its two co-founders complementing one another in all different fields. But for Nao things were not all that good-looking. Powerful headaches, haunting her ever since high school, grew in strength and number. Eventually, any single painkiller was not enough and mixing them resulted only in diminishing the pain. Because of this, the redhead traded her cigarettes for joints, finding temporal relief in a high. Then, that feral Christmas Eve came.

That deal would push the company onto new tracks, allowing it to really step up its sales. Natsuki was already at the site of the negotiations, while Nao - with Shizuru's help - was packing the necessary samples. Suddenly, she stood straight and looked intently at Shizuru. Moments after, their lips met in a quick, clumsy kiss. "Always wanted to do that," said the short-haired girl before toppling over onto the floor. The doctors said that she must have had a brain aneurysm that ruptured because of stress and overwork.

* * *

"Anyway, Nao, it's time for me to go. Need to put my plan into action after all, right?" Sweeping her fingers over her late friend's photo for the last time, she reached for her purse. Just then, a sudden gust of wind blew the candle out. "Ara… so you have been listening." Shizuru winked at the woman in the picture and blew her a goodbye kiss.

* * *

Midori almost dropped the tray when she saw the woman entering the office.

"Shi-chan!" she exclaimed but the arrival silenced her, placing a finger to her lips. Rolling her eyes, Midori put the tray away and gathered the woman in her arms. It was such a rare occasion for Shizuru to visit them at the Otome that she wanted to make the most of it.

Shizuru, however, seemed to have different plans, shortly returning the hug and stepping back.

"Is my wife at her office?" she asked quietly, inspecting the contents of the tray Midori held earlier.

"Yes, I was about to bring her coffee." The redhead reached for the object in question. "Wait here, I'll tell her you've come."

"Let me," with a pleading smile, Shizuru stopped her. Taking the tray, she made it toward Natsuki's office. Before pressing the handle, she mouthed: "Wish me luck."

* * *

So engrossed was Natsuki in her paperwork that she paid no attention to the door opening and the light footsteps that followed. She scribbled intently, jotting down what seemed like long columns of numbers with a few words added here and there, most probably a commentary of sorts. Eventually, she gripped her pen tighter in annoyance and grunted:

"Just put it anywhere, Sugiura, and leave. Don't stand over me like that."

"I've hoped Natsuki would spare me a few minutes of her valuable time."

Natsuki looked up just for a moment, the pleasant surprise clear on her visage. Soon, though, her face fell and she reached into a drawer, procuring a chequebook.

"How much do you need?" she asked harshly. "I assume you want to do some holiday shopping but lack sufficient funds."

Sighing and shaking her head, Shizuru moved the tray to her left hand to put a loose hair strand behind her ear.

"It's not about money. I just need to talk to my wife." She paused for a bit, forming the next sentence in her head before speaking it out loud. "I've got a… business proposal for her."

The businesswoman eyed her wife with suspicion, true, yet not without some curiosity.

"Take a seat, then," she eventually stated, getting up from behind her desk and pointing to the low coffee table surrounded by leather suite. "You probably would like some tea, right? Wait a minute, I'll tell Sugiura to…"

"No need for trouble, Natsuki. I won't take that long." Waiting for her wife to sit down, Shizuru poured her coffee to the cup, cringing when the strong smell hit her nostrils. "I'll never understand how you can drink this."

"It keeps me awake and focused. That's what important, not the taste."

"You've changed, Natsuki," remarked sadly the brunette, passing the cup and watching her wife take a sip.

"Is that what you want to talk about?"

Shizuru shook her head.

"No... I wonder, how much does the company make every day?"

"Ha ha, I knew it…" With a bitter laugh, Natsuki reached back for the chequebook. "How much do you want it to make?"

"Stop it, please!" Her voice was filled with frustration. "I don't want your money. Just… answer the question. With you being here, how much does the company make?"

Still peeved, the black-haired woman gave her the number.

"Good." Taking a deep breath, Shizuru looked her wife in the eye, crimson clashing with green. "Then here's my proposal: I want to buy your time - I want to buy you for three days."

Natsuki looked at her with eyes widened with confusion.

"I can afford it, the sum you would make in three days." She hesitated. "No, actually I might be a few thousand yen short but with a family discount that should do."

"What are you~"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door and Midori peeking in.

"Boss, there's some problem with the herbs delivery. The ones from Europe."

Natsuki kept her eyes on the redhead, half-standing from her seat, but then sat back, visibly torn between the two issues. It became even more apparent when she started worrying her lower lip.

"Go," said quietly Shizuru, nodding with encouragement. "We can finish this when you're home."

"Are you sure?" Despite the question, Natsuki was already up and on her way to the door.

"Yes. Just think about my… proposal."

* * *

The night was late when Natsuki finally came home, stepping carefully on her toes so as not to wake her family up. She cringed when her keys hit the shoe cabinet a tad too loud and proceeded quietly into the sitting room where she stood stock-still. Sitting at the table, her head propped on her folded arms, was Shizuru. Asleep in the position she must have been waiting for Natsuki for the whole evening and then even longer.

The businesswoman set her suitcase on a chair and came closer to her wife, reaching out and caressing her head. Her fingers were tentative, moved slowly and gently, not wanting to disturb Shizuru's rest. She found the other woman's obstinacy somewhat fascinating.

"...tsuki?" Sleepy voice broke through her thoughts.

"Yes, it's me." Even in her own ears, she sounded strangely tender. "You shouldn't sleep here. Get up, I'll help you to bed."

"No… not to… bed…" Shizuru tried to speak through the yawning, but despite the protest she let Natsuki pick her up and lead her through the dark house. "Need to… t'talk…"

"You're in no state to talk right now. Not about business proposals," noted Natsuki, seating the other woman on their bed and starting to unbutton her blouse.

"Uhm… test me…" The brunette finally opened her eyes, though not much lucidity was present in them.

"Name the last three American presidents." The question came with a soft laughter, while she reached for Shizuru's night robe.

"Eeeeasy… Obama… uhm… Bush… and…" Her voice was muffled by the robe being pulled over her head. "And… that one who couldn't keep it in his pants!" finished Shizuru with a smug smile, half-conscious but pleased with herself.

"So you want to buy me for three days." It was only after Shizuru was tucked in and Natsuki changed into her pyjamas that the conversation was resumed. "Care to elaborate on that?"

"I would like for Natsuki to take three days off - not go to the office, turn off her phone - and spend this time with me and our daughter." The woman was awake now and able to clearly relay her thoughts. "Of course, I will compensate you for the money lost with my own savings."

"And you expect me to throw my work here and now just because you ask me so? Shizuru, it's the most important time in the year for the company - the losses I'll sustain would go far beyond~"

Shizuru promptly silenced her with a quick yet tender kiss.

"Much as I would appreciate such a token of your affection, my dear wife," she started with a gentle smile. "I am aware of the consequences and could never demand it of you."

"Then what do you propose?" Natsuki slid under her cover, squirming for a moment before finding a comfortable position.

"The Christmas Day," eagerly supplied Shizuru, scooting closer. "And two days before that so we all can get ready for the celebration."

For a few moments, there was only silence filled with occasional rustle of the sheets when the raven-haired gathered the other woman in her arms and held her closely. Spooning her wife, she enjoyed the familiar smell of hers.

"Tomorrow…," she started, a bit too loudly. "Tomorrow I'll draw up the agreement. No refunds, no withdrawals, no renegotiations..."

"The cheque's on the fridge," interrupted Shizuru, snuggling into her. "And now, just shut up and hold me."

* * *

**_And it's back to work, guys :)_**

**_Lots of things happened this Christmas - both good and bad - but things are now on the brighter side. Hope yours were only good. :)_**

**_Thank you for all follows, favourites and reviews - am greedy and wanna moar! :P The story will progress as planned unless the sky falls on my head or we'll experience a Second Coming before Jan 6th._**

**_Have fun girls and boys!_**

**_dag_**


	3. Chapter 3

Two days before Christmas, the city centre was brimming with festivities. Wherever one's eyes could reach - from trees in the park and squares to stores' windows, from private houses with gardens to schools and public offices - decorations were in abundance. There were lighting festoons hanging here and there, interspersed with garlands adorned with tinsel and with multitudes of glass balls in all colours and sizes. People were hurrying along the streets, carrying packages and shopping bags, stopping just to greet their friends or neighbours and then hurrying again, pulling their dogs or their kids along. Groups of carollers and stores' speakers made the music flow, various songs mixing and mingling in that distinctive holiday noise.

Waiting for her wife among this hustle and bustle, under Bill Nighy singing from the speaker about something he feels in his fingers and his toes, Natsuki felt completely out of place. And not for the first time that day: ever since its very first moments Shizuru seemed to make it her personal goal to put the other woman off her stride.

* * *

She woke up early, purely out of habit gained over the years of hard work. It felt strange to just lie in bed, enjoying the soft and warm touch of the cotton sheets on her skin, the silence that enveloped the house, the sheer idleness. Somewhere, deep in her mind, an urgent voice started to panic that she overslept the alarm, that there were people and meetings and papers waiting for her attention. For a while she contemplated telling it to be quiet but two things were niggling her: first, her alarm clock, set permanently, should have gone off some time ago. Second, Shizuru wasn't there. Her beautiful, pesky wife, who proposed that they should spend this day together, all but left her alone in their bed at the wee hour of the morning.

Since every passing minute made her more restless, Natsuki decided to get up and do something - anything. But just before her feet could touch the cold floor, the knob turned and the door to their bedroom opened with a quiet squeak. In peeked Shizuru and for the younger woman it was one of the most beautiful sights in her life: her wife standing there in her night gown, mass of tawny hair still dishevelled from sleep, robe loosely hanging from her shoulders, fluffy bunny-slippers on her feet and some tray in her hands.

"Hello there, my lovely," greeted the brunette with her sing-songish accent that once inherent to her voice, now emerged only at the times of greatest excitement. "I hope you've slept well." Setting the tray on the bedside table, she sat by Natsuki's side and tenderly pecked her cheek. "I turned off your alarm so you could get some more sleep." She was about to turn away when the other women motioned for her; as she complied, Natsuki gave her a long kiss on the lips.

"That's how you greet your wife on the day she shirked her duties for you."

"Not exactly shirked," mumbled Shizuru under breath, but more to herself. Shaking her head, she reached for the tray and placed it on Natsuki's knees, carefully climbing on the bed after. "Does this remind you of something?"

The businesswoman quickly scanned the tray contents, discovering a full-blown European style breakfast: sunny side up eggs, freshly baked rolls, cold cuts, Swiss cheese and then some white mould one, little saucers of strawberry jam and honey, even a small portion of a piping hot oatmeal. This lavish meal, complemented with two mugs of green tea and black coffee, brought Natsuki back in time.

When they got married, they couldn't afford their dreamed honeymoon trip to Europe. In fact, any proper honeymoon retreat was out of their reach. But Natsuki, being madly in love with her wonderful bride, was ready to move heaven and earth to give her some unforgettable experience of that time. And so she scraped her secret savings to treat the two of them to the weekend at the most exclusive hotel in the area, with room service and meals like this one included.

"It does seem somewhat familiar," started Natsuki, dipping her finger in a honey and watching big, golden drops falling down on the saucer. "Though if my memory serves me right, it wasn't you who brought the tray last time. Something about you being too… spent to move out of bed, probably," she finished with a smirk and brought the finger to her lips, thoroughly licking the sweet syrup off.

Shizuru's cheeks were tinted with the slightest hint of pink when she reached for a steaming roll.

"And who was it that brought me too such a state?" she asked, almost innocently, chuckling with glee when Natsuki choked from embarrassment, most probably remembering the details of that night in the most vivid way.

"Where's Kiyoko?" The younger woman finally calmed down and was about to reach for her coffee when her reason all but trampled her good mood. If Shizuru wanted for these three day to be a family time, shouldn't they start with family breakfast? And suddenly she realised how their common meals looked like for the past few weeks, the atmosphere that accompanied them at the table and this knowledge made her uncomfortable. "Are we going to spend whole day like this? Dillydallying and wasting the time? Is that really worth your money?"

"Kiyoko's with my parents," said brusquely Shizuru, dropping the unfinished roll, no longer hungry. She should have known that this day started too good to stay this way. "And why would it matter to you if this was in fact my plan? To just stay in bed with you, to simply have you by my side for these three days? You're barely ever at home lately, Natsuki." Angrily, she got out of bed and made it toward the wardrobe. "It's my money I'm wasting, not yours."

"Wait." The brunette felt the other woman pull at her nightgown. She turned around; Natsuki sat with her back ramrod straight and her head hung down. "Come back here." When she reluctantly obeyed, her wife tore a piece of a roll, dipped in the runny egg yolk and brought the morsel to Shizuru's lips. "Eat with me. You've put so much work into it…" After some hesitation, soft lips accepted the bite and Natsuki visibly relaxed. "Now. Tell me your plans for today."

* * *

That's how what Shizuru called The Day of Christmas Past started. Quoting Natsuki's wife: "the day that should be all about the two of them, the reminiscence of their love and life together." Because of that, the businesswoman was now standing outside the train station, waiting for her wife as she would when they were still dating. Glancing for the umpteenth time at her wristwatch, she stamped her feet, blew on her cold-numbed hands and huddled herself. How could she have ever considered this kind of behaviour as romantic eluded her completely.

"Guess who?" The melodious question came at the very same moment when warm hands covered her eyes. Natsuki smirked and shook her head lightly. For a short while, she pretended to be considering the question.

"I have no idea, miss," she finally answered, her voice stern. "But you may want to watch out for my woman. She can be here any minute and takes jealousy to a whole new level~"

"Natsuki!" Shizuru's voice bordered between pout and laughter when she playfully smacked her wife on her head. Soon though she caught the other woman's lips in a quick, welcoming kiss. "Have you been waiting long?" she asked with worry, noticing Natsuki's cold hands and cheeks red from the frost. She put the icy fingers between her own palms and rubbed them which earned her some half-grateful mumble.

Somehow, the warmth that just reached her fingers expanded and enveloped Natsuki whole, from heads to toes.

"Maybe a little bit," she said with a smile, clasping her hand with Shizuru's. "But I certainly would appreciate it if you would take me wherever you planned to."

* * *

This wherever turned out to be a small tea-shop, hidden in the corner of the market square, in a building so old and inconspicuous that one would never stumble there by chance. Thus, it was frequented only by regular patrons and the couple found themselves a quiet reprieve from all the commotion outside.

As soon as the doorbell jingle announced their arrival, they were greeted by a perky waitress in glasses, her name-tag reading 'Julie', who showed them to the box by the window and promised to come back in a minute to collect their orders. In amiable silence the two of them went through the menu and placed their orders.

"What's the 'flash-back set'? I didn't see it on the menu?" Natsuki couldn't hide curiosity and a touch of more vile emotion from her voice. "And why was that waitress winking at you? Shizuru?!"

"Ara, Natsuki, who's the jealous one now?" The brunette chuckled, reaching for her wife's hand. "She was simply acknowledging my order, something that I pre-organised. As for the 'flash-back~"

She was interrupted by Natsuki's cell phone buzzing and cringed when the businesswoman reached for the device.

"I thought you promised to turn it off," started Shizuru with a deep sadness to her voice, obvious even though she tried to mask it with indifference.

"The business one and I did. This one's private." She looked at the caller and cursed under breath. "It's Sugiura. Must be something important…"

"Natsuki, you promised."

Natsuki had no other response to the reproach in Shizuru's voice but to reject the call and shove the phone toward her wife with such a strength that she almost threw it off the table. The other woman took the device and turned it in her fingers, waiting for the order, lost deep in reverie. Finally, the waitress came back, carrying with her their beverages and a plate with five lidded cups. Setting the tray down, she said:

"The cake's on the house." And with mischief in her bespectacled eyes, she added: "Good luck, Ma'am."

Shizuru put the cell phone in the middle of the table and pulled the cups closer before Natsuki could peek under their lids.

"This is your 'flash-back set'. You could call it a game of sorts." Natsuki was still seething but couldn't hide that this piqued her interest. "And as any other game, it comes with prizes for the right answers!"

"You just made this one up, didn't you?"

Shizuru nodded sheepishly.

"Because I don't want to see you this sour for long." She took one of the cups and put it in front of her wife. "The game's easy: five cups, five teas or tisanes. You have to name the ingredients and-" At this point Natsuki's smug smile suddenly fell by a fraction. "-and to tell when we drank this blend together for the first time."

The younger woman lifted the lid just a bit, taking a small whiff of the aroma.

"What are the prizes?"

"One wish for every good answer. Limited only by what's possible for me to fulfil." She touched the phone. "Like a temporary exemption from the agreement."

"Then just to be sure," whispered Natsuki and took a sip from the first cup. "Green sencha as a base… cloves, cardamom… cocoa bark and some sweet orange… and then just a hint of saffron." Tender smile lightened her face and she took another swig. "There's no way in hell, I'd forget this one." She took Shizuru's left hand in hers, her pale fingers running over the modest engagement ring. "I made it myself when you said yes… The only blend that could at least partially reflect my joy..." She sighed and chuckled with embarrassment.

"You're right, of course." Shizuru took the tea and drank it up, at the same time pushing the phone toward her wife. "There's something in this tea that fascinates me to no end, no matter how much I drink of it… Make your call. Midori must be at her wit's end if she decided to call you on your private number."

Natsuki took the phone and scrolled through the contact list. For a moment, her thumb hovered over the 'call' button but then she turned the device off completely and slid it into her pocket.

"She can wait. Right now, I'm more interested in your flashbacks," she explained, almost apologetically to Shizuru.

And so, she reached for the second cup.

* * *

_**Sunday, already? Time's flying by so fast...**_

_**Answering question left by the Guest: would you be saddened if it was Takeda or Tomoe? :P Plus, I don't really see Natsuki founding a company with any of them. Even if she's OOC :)**_

_**The other question - why Natsuki changed and why is she such an asshole... I leave it unanswered for now. Maybe the story will bring some explanation later.**_

_**As a trivia: all the teas and tisanes mentioned in this and the next chapter are real blends and your humble author is at least a bit fond of them.**_

_**Last but not least, give a warm welcome to the guest-appearing Julie! You know who you are, lil's sis XD *waves at one of the fandom authors***_

_**See you all on New Year's Eve :***_


	4. Chapter 4

And so, Natsuki reached for the second cup.

"This one's no blend," she decided when the sweet smell reached her nostrils. And when the taste rolled over her tongue, she found this one easy as well.

* * *

It must have been a couple of months after they got together. A year probably, because Shizuru was insisting that it was their anniversary and she was always the one to keep track of such things. It was a particularly rough time for Natsuki who - between exams and part-time job and spending time with her girlfriend - could barely find time to sleep and completely lost her appetite. Coupled with a stormy weather, this resulted in a really bad cold. Shizuru forced her to take some time off and almost tied her to the bed, having nothing of Natsuki's protests.

"But Shizuru… I need to learn some more or I fail."

"What Natsuki needs right now is proper rest and a good sweat to get rid of the germs in her body." Shizuru once more pushed her girlfriend down. "And no, I won't leave her to cough her lungs out because that's not what one would do to their loved one on their first anniversary."

The raven-haired one rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Then you'll just get my cold. It's stupid as hell, you know?!"

"Ara, I just have to make sure my body is well-prepared to fight little Natsuki-germs!" She reached for two steaming mugs and placed one of them in her girlfriends hands. "Toast to the years ahead so that if we celebrate the next anniversary in bed it is in completely different circumstances!"

* * *

Back then, Natsuki almost spluttered the hot tisane. Now though, in that little tea-shop, she took another sip and pushed the cup toward Shizuru.

"Linden tea. Sweetened with honey."

The brunette finished the drink with a smile but as Natsuki reached for the next cup, she stopped her. Having checked the contents of the cup, she set it aside and offered her wife the fourth in line.

"Try this one next."

As soon as sweet smell of the next tisane hit Natsuki's nose, the woman almost burst into laughter.

"That night? Seriously?" When Shizuru nodded, she chuckled again. "Oh well, it certainly was a memorable one…"

* * *

It was well past midnight; Shizuru and Natsuki lied in their bed, cuddling. At the moment, the cuddling was getting more and more heated and only the utter exhaustion prevented it from turning into something much less innocent. Suddenly, the door to their bedroom opened, the couple's small child sniffling at the doorstep.

"Mommy…" Kiyoko clutched the teddy bear closer to her chest, while her parents all but leaped to her side. "The monstel's baaaaack…."

"The one from under you bed?" Shizuru hugged the child, tenderly stroking her tousled hair. "But we shooed it away last week."

"He… he just hid flom you…" The girl sobbed miserably. "And now he's back."

Natsuki put on her robe and kneeled in front of her daughter.

"This calls for drastic measures. Are you brave enough to help me, Kiyoko?"

When the girl nodded her head, swallowing the tears, Natsuki gathered her in her arms and carried to her home workshop, Shizuru following in their footsteps. Once in the room, Natsuki went about picking some herbs from various containers and mixing them together in a ceramic bowl.

"What we are making now," she explained to her wife and daughter, "is a potion that will make us smelly to the monster's nose. So smelly that he'll run away shrieking!" Kiyoko giggled to that and Natsuki poured the herbal tea to three small tin cups. "To hell with ugly monsters!"

"To heyy!"

The rest of the night was peacefully slept through by the three of them in one bed.

* * *

"The monster's never came back, has it? But the contents of this blend…" Natsuki took yet another sip, deliberating aloud. "Chamomile and lemon balm, that's for sure. Dried apples and candied orange to make it more palatable and then some raspberry leaf for a better measure… Rooibos, mint, lavender, sunflower… But there's some sweetness to it…" She pondered the subject for a moment. "I say, rose petals."

"Is that your final answer?" Natsuki nodded. "Then you're wrong. I mean, those were the right ingredients but you missed the most crucial one. Hibiscus. It was your craze at that time."

"Can I now try the other one?" asked the businesswoman, her mood a bit dampened, motioning toward the cup previously set aside. When her wife complied, she took a quick sip and cringed immediately. "My God, what's this?!" She looked askew at the foul liquid. "I mean, I can tell what it is: some black tea floor-sweepings. The poorest quality dust of assam, probably. But for the life of mine, I can't remember when we could have drank this."

"After Nao's funeral." Shizuru grimaced when the bitter liquid touched her palate. "You just set this on the table, without a word. Then I knew just how much you were hurting…"

"Me hurting over that blockhead? Don't make me laugh!" Natsuki vehemently reached for the final cup and drank half of its contents in one swig. "Milk oolong. At your graduation. Are we finished? I have a phone call to make."

* * *

Two long calls and one short, uncomfortably silent walk later, Shizuru and Natsuki found themselves in The Garderobe, a renowned art gallery. If she hadn't just used two of her three wishes, the businesswoman would most probably try and skip this part of their schedule. She wasn't one to spend hours on end, gazing at the paintings as if they held some great mystery. Not that she couldn't appreciate a piece of art; she had her personal likes and dislikes in the matter and was open to any discussion. Shizuru, though, took art appreciation to a completely different level. She almost made it an art itself.

"What should I be ready for? Paintings, sculptures, some kind of modern artish mumbo-jumbo installation...?"

"There's no need for your sarcasm, Natsuki." Shizuru shook her head and squeezed her wife's hand, leading her into the exhibition, all the while making sure she couldn't see the posters with the artist's name. "We won't take long - I just… I would like to hear your opinion on these paintings." She gave Natsuki a pleading smile, knowing fully well that it was the other woman's only weakness.

"Alright, alright. Who's the painter?"

"Now, that's not important."

With this words, they finally entered the dimly lit room with a handful of paintings lining its walls. The pictures displayed seemed to have nothing extraordinary to them, a few portraits, some landscapes and one or two abstracts, yet even the very first one forced Natsuki to take a step back and look again. There was something undeniably familiar in the flow of the lines, in the choice of colours and strokes, even in the ostensibly careless finish. She stepped closer, squinting a little at the bright spot light.

Then the recognition hit her and she couldn't help a small smile. Still, she made her way round the room, strolling leisurely from one painting to another, taking some perverse amusement in the way Shizuru's palm became colder and sweatier with every step made in silence.

"What can I say," she started in a deadly serious tone. "The paintress made no progress and still sucks up to the critics…"

* * *

The temp agency Natsuki was working for at that time was contracted for the organising the opening of a year-end exhibition in The Garderobe. The exhibition was featuring the works of the local art school students and so the opening night was attended primarily by their parents and colleagues. The guests were filling the dimly lit rooms, shuffling from one piece of art to another, sparing no polite remarks and praises to their authors.

Tray with refreshments in hand, Natsuki took a little break from her waitress work and stopped by one of the paintings. Still life done in oil by one Shizuru Viola, to be precise. The picture was apparently really good as one could assume from the blue ribbon hanging by its title.

"Penny for your thoughts, beauty." Natsuki jumped a bit, startled by the soft melodious voice suddenly ringing in her ear.

"Ah… it's a really… really..."

The girl who asked the question giggled behind her hand, probably amused by Natsuki's stuttering and her flushed face.

"Go on, I would love to hear an honest opinion."

"I only do honest," stated Natsuki, adjusting the tray and looking back at the painting to keep her calm. "I think it's good. By the official standards, I mean." She chanced a quick look at the brunette who listened to her in all seriousness. "But for me it lacks something… personal, I guess? Like, the painter didn't want to bare his soul."

"Didn't want to bare her soul," corrected the other girl. "Could you come with me and take a look at one other painting?"

Shrugging, Natsuki followed the girl, trying to match her uniform with the ones she knew. By the time she decided that it must have been some variation on the art school outfit, they reached the secluded part of the exhibition. With no other guests nearby, they stopped by another painting, a landscape this time.

"Would my admirable waitress be kind enough to share her opinion on this one as well?"

"I much prefer this one. It's a bit messy, chaotic even but it's really moving something in me." The conclusion came to her naturally, after a short contemplation. "But why is it in here, not with the other awarded ones?"

"My teachers decided that it was too… I believe 'rampant' was the word used by them. And as such it could not be positively evaluated." The girl's face filled with barely noticeable scorn.

"So, you've painted this one, huh?"

"And the blue-ribboned one as well."

* * *

"The paintress still sucks up to the critics." Reiterated firmly Natsuki, coming out of her memories. "These are much too pristine and correct to my liking." Squeezing Shizuru's hand, she looked her wife in the eyes and asked: "What happened to the daring, soul-baring artist?"

Without a word, Shizuru pulled Natsuki with her, leading her to where once her most criticised painting was hanged. Making sure no one was in their vicinity, she pushed the switch and turned the spotlight on. As soon as the picture was illuminated, the businesswoman's eyes widened and a moment later her countenance filled with undignified red.

"Turn it off," she groaned, not looking at Shizuru. Her wife, though, seemed to have a different idea. She came closer and closed Natsuki in her arms, whispering in her ear:

"Is this bare enough, my love?" She looked up, her crimson eyes shamelessly following every curve on Natsuki's act on the canvas. "It's a pity I had to paint it from my memory, though…" She let the other woman squirm away from her hold and turn the light off. A few seconds later, she barely stifled a yelp when cold hands found their way under her blouse.

"Should I refresh your memory?"

With a quiet sigh, Shizuru pulled away.

"I would love it but not like this. Doing it on a bought time… it's just wrong. Like buying you and your affection." She caught her wife lips in a brief kiss to keep them from tightening in disapproval. "And I still have a lot more planned for today."

* * *

_**Even though we still have a few hours left...**_

_**Happy New Year!**_

_**Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku!**_

_******Masaganang Bagong Taon!**_

_******Akemashite Omodetou!**_

_******Thank you for the time you've wasted with me, be it reading or talking or just passing time with. May the new year bring you all that is best, a plentiful of meetings, ideas, friends and love!**_

_******Do siego roku!**_

_******dag**_


	5. Chapter 5

When the day's recollections and reminiscences finally gave way to the present, it was already late night.

Kiyoko was sleeping in her room, snuffling lightly, thoroughly worn out after the day spent with coddling grandparents. She came home dozy and almost fell asleep at the dinner table but her dark eyes glittered with excitement when she saw the tall Christmas tree set up in the living room. She wanted to decorate it right away and then sleep under it, but Natsuki was adamant about her not staying up past the usual bedtime. The child's tears dried very quickly though, when both her mothers tucked her in and sat by her until she fell asleep.

Shizuru and Natsuki were lying in bed as well, but the atmosphere between them was far from a peaceful slumber. And the reason for this was one innocent remark made by the brunette about their deceased friend.

"Because she got nothing!" Natsuki finally burst out, intent on cutting short the discussion she never felt comfortable with in the first place. "Do you remember her funeral? Simple coffin made of raw wood, priest rushing through the whole thing as if he'd got another, better paying job soon after, a handful of people I could easily count on my fingers. She got nothing."

"Natsuki, maybe you…"

"No, don't you 'maybe me' now." Natsuki turned away in anger, punching her pillow. "Nao was a sore loser, achieved nothing. Nothing at all." She lied down, using the snuggling as an excuse to regain her composure. "I don't want to end like her. To leave you and Kiyoko out in the cold. To be forgotten ten minutes after I'm buried, leaving no trace of my existence…" Her last words came so quiet that almost inaudible.

But her wife heard them all right, even though she was turned away, her back touching Natsuki's. Still, she said nothing, keeping her thoughts to herself. She still had two days left to reclaim her lover, after all.

* * *

On the second morning, Natsuki was awakened by a quiet jingle. Curious for the source of this sound, unusual in her bedroom as it was, she turned to her side and took a peek. Kiyoko was standing by her bed barefoot, in light pyjamas, Santa cap with a little bell adorning her head. She kept wringing her hands and her whole posture just screamed of apprehension.

"What do you want?" grumbled Natsuki, remnants of sleep making her voice sound more harsh than she intended.

"Mommy said to wake you up," Kiyoko's voice trembled a bit. "She makes breakfast now."

"Did she tell you what happens to people who disturb my peace?" Natsuki opened one eye and frowned at the child. Sudden pain gripped her heart when the girl took a step back, as if ready to take flight. Was her daughter afraid of her? When did this happen? "They are punished by the tickle monster!" With this, she leapt out of bed and caught the girl in loose embrace, tickling her sides mercilessly.

"No, mom! Stop!" pleaded Kiyoko, breathless from laughter. "Kiyoko will be good… Stop!"

Seeing her little girl in so much distress, even if a completely harmless one, Natsuki gathered her in her arms and hugged heartily.

"Now shoo, mom needs to get dressed."

The woman stood up but Kiyoko caught her sleeve and looked at her with just last hints of apprehension.

"Mommy said it's a pyjama breakfast."

Lifting her left eyebrow, Natsuki took the little palm in her own hand and followed the child to the kitchen.

* * *

Pyjama breakfasts, according to Shizuru, were meant to be eaten on the living room couch, while huddled in blankets and watching morning re-run of 'Home Alone'. And by their very definition they were supposed to consist of pancakes with various toppings - heaps of pancakes, if fact - and big mugs of hot chocolate. No matter how much Natsuki protested, she would not get her morning coffee. Still, Kiyoko's munching her food with gusto and the girl's jam-smeared face filled her with such an unexpected glee that she forwent the bitter drink and allowed herself to enjoy the lax atmosphere of the meal. Even the stains left by the child's fingers on her attire couldn't bother her.

But the real treat came after the breakfast, when Shizuru washed the dishes and Natsuki brought a big dusty box from the storage room. Kiyoko squealed with joy, carefully taking out glass bulbs and other decorations and putting them all in line on the couch. For the next hour or so, she was the one in command, deciding which trinket should go where and pointing to her dark-haired mother all the right places she couldn't reach herself. Her other mom was cheering on them from the armchair, excusing herself from the decorating with the fact that someone had to get up very early to cook those heaps of pancakes.

With all the decorations, chains and lights in place, there was only one thing left. Taking the old angel tree topper out of the box, Natsuki knelt in front of her daughter.

"Young lady," she commenced in serious tone, looking her child in the eye. "I believe you are old enough to put the angel on the tree."

Dark eyes widened until they were as big as saucers and they glittered with unrestricted joy and pride.

"Can I? Really? You're the best mom ever!" She put her arms around Natsuki's neck, wordlessly asking to be lifted up.

Shizuru watched the two, chuckling at their contented expressions, when her alarm clock beeped quietly. Her face fell when she sneaked to the kitchen, reminded that with each day her time was growing shorter.

* * *

"Mom, mom! It's there! The star has come!"

All too soon for Shizuru, the 24th December has gone by and the Christmas Eve came. Kiyoko demanded to be dressed up early in the afternoon and spent all the time ever since looking out for the first star. And now, that it has finally appeared on the clear dark sky, she unglued herself from the window and came running into the room where the table was already set. Shizuru, bringing the last dishes in, barely avoided the collision.

"No running, Kiyo-chan!" she shouted after the girl, already on her way for Natsuki.

With the child out of sight, Shizuru slumped to the nearest chair, her breathing heavy and laboured. She felt tired. The preparations for the exhibition - necessary to gather funds for buying Natsuki's time - took its toll on her condition. And the last two days were taxing, at best. True, she would not give a single moment of them away, but she strained to keep up with the pace she set herself.

The woman hunched forward as pain shot through her body, more intense than what she usually experienced. Hiding her face behind clasped hands, she muffled a whimper. Her family couldn't know. Not yet.

'God,' she prayed in her thoughts. 'I guess Nao's mediacy wasn't enough. But please, I need more time. Just a few more hours. I need~'

"This little lady tells me the star has come. I guess it's time to… Shizuru, are you alright?" Natsuki set Kiyoko to the floor and in two long strides was by her wife, stroking her back, troubled expression on her face.

"Yes, my love. I'm just… a bit tired." Shizuru forced a smile, hoping it would come through as convincing.

"No wonder about that. Just look at this feast!" The raven-haired caught Kiyoko when she tried to put her fingers into a bowl with poppy seed noodles. "Not so fast, young lady! This is not your usual supper so we should do this properly."

Looking her family over, Natsuki lit the candle standing in the centre of the ceremonially dressed table.

"The light of Christ."

"Thanks be to God. Mommy, why are we lighting the candle first?"

"What did Miss Maria teach you about Christmas?"

"That…" The girl frowned in thought. "That it's about baby Jesus being born in a manger." Kiyoko looked up to her mother for confirmation.

Shizuru gathered her in her arms and patted her head.

"And the candle is to remind us that now that He's born we don't have to be afraid of darkness."

The child's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"So Jesus is like superhero and monsters are scared of him?"

"Something like that," Natsuki assented with a chuckle. "Now come up here, both of you, my beautiful ladies." She took a small plate with white Christmas wafers and each of the family members took one of them.

This was one of the traditions that she hated as a child. When she got her own family, though, the breaking of bread on Christmas Eve suddenly became meaningful. And now, when she turned to Shizuru to give her Christmas wishes, words stuck in her throat. Her wife's crimson eyes were full with love and longing, her emotions so visibly intense that Natsuki flushed.

"Many blessings, Shizuru," she said, holding her wafer out for the other woman to break. "I'm sorry if I wasn't the best wife this year. I'll change, I promise. You and Kiyoko will want for nothing and~"

"Hush, my love." Shizuru put the broken bit of wafer to her lips. Tucking a strand of hair behind ear, she focused her gaze on Natsuki's hand. "Thank you for this year. And for all the years you put up with me." She chuckled nervously and light pink tinted her cheeks. "You're the best that's happened to me. You both are," she added when Kiyoko stomped her foot and harrumphed. "I have only one wish for you." Shizuru looked her wife straight in the eye, revealing the wetness in them. "May you realize how much you have achieved in your life. Because it is no small thing. You're a great woman, great mother and great wife. You don't need to work so much to prove that. We don't need a proof… we need you… Soon, Kiyoko will need you even more…" Here, her voice broke and she swallowed her tears. Opening and closing her mouth a few times, she eventually gave up on continuing. She took a deep breath and finished, summoning a smile to her face. "May God bless you, Natsuki."

Before Shizuru could understand what was happening, Natsuki gathered her in an embrace, her hand stroking the brunette's back in a familiar manner. Shizuru pushed her face into the other woman's shoulder, in a futile attempt to stop the sobbing and tears. She didn't want to break down like this, not on this evening.

"Mommy, Kiyoko wanna hug too!"

When the child squirmed her way between the two women and puffed, obviously satisfied, Shizuru chuckled through the tears. With a last choked sob, she wiped her eyes and crouched by the little girl.

"And what should I wish you, Kiyo-chan? Maybe that you find yourself some nice boy?"

"Boys are stupid and ugly!" pouted Kiyoko.

"Ara, is Akkun ugly too?"

Suddenly, Kiyoko blushed and put her hands over Shizuru's lips.

"Mommy, you promised you won't say about Akkun!"

"Oh, so there is some boy." Natsuki took her place at the table, not taking her eyes from the quickly reddening girl. "Tell me about him."

* * *

_**I told it'd be a drama, right?**_

_**And as a word of explanation: the way ShizNat celebrates - described in this and the next chapter - is based on how we do Christmas in Poland. Why? Cause I know this traditions first-hand (too lazy to research on some others :P) plus I think there's something in them that make them the best Christmas traditions in the world.**_

_**Okay, maybe the obligatory re-run of 'Home Alone' doesn't count as "the best" XD**_

_**For the next chapter, you may want to prepare a box of tissues. Or two. For the citrusy stuff and for drama :D**_

_**Take care**_

_**dag**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Here comes the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come...**_

* * *

The rest of the evening passed without disturbances, with no mention of Shizuru's unexpected breakdown. The Kruger family shared their festive meal in a light atmosphere, joking and enjoying the simple, homemade dishes. After that, they exchanged gifts and Kiyoko immediately claimed the new doll her most favourite one, naming her Hime. Later, they attended the midnight Shepherds' Mass. Their little girl, exhausted with the day's excitement, having checked that baby Jesus is in his manger, fell asleep in her mother's arms and happily drowsed through half of the service.

Late in the night, with celebrations finished for the day and with Kiyoko sleeping in her bed, Shizuru and Natsuki found themselves in the quiet seclusion of their bedroom. Shizuru was sitting on the edge of the bed when suddenly a pair of arms encircled her waist and a pair of lips found its way to her ear.

"You still owe me one wish, Shizuru," whispered Natsuki before nibbling on her wife's neck. "And right now I feel tempted to call it in."

Flexing her neck to give Natsuki better access, the brunette closed her eyes.

"If that's what you wish for…," she consented, yet not without some sadness. "If you think you need to pull the favour card for this…" Shizuru shivered when Natsuki's hands rolled up her night robe, fingertips grazing over her naked thighs. Her breath hitched when she felt her wife pulling her closer, so close that if not for the cloth between them, they wouldn't know where one ended and the other started.

"And if I just asked you," husky voice was lower than usual, brimming with desire, "to make love to me?" Natsuki's teeth scraped Shizuru's ear. "How does that sound to you?"

Turning around to catch her wife's lips in a kiss, the brunette pushed her onto the mattress.

"Much better, my love." She touched Natsuki's nose with her own, eyes locked onto eyes, speaking without words. "Much much better."

And so they celebrated the Christmas night, the night that is all about the affirmation of life, in their own special way. They worshipped each other with utmost reverence, their hands and mouths wandering over the territories known only to them. Their bodies moved in unison, as if propelled by one soul, split at their creation and only now restored. Slowly, caress by caress, kiss by kiss, they climbed higher and higher toward the peak. Their lovemaking that night was like the holiday itself - calm and gentle. Considerate of the other. Sweet and quiet. And when they finally reached fulfilment, they swallowed each other's cries not to wake their little child.

This was truly a silent night.

* * *

In the quiet of the morning, Natsuki woke up with a feeling that something was amiss. Pulling covers up, she turned onto the right side, wanting to embrace Shizuru and bask in her presence until the time came to get up. Somehow, during the last two days she started to appreciate short moments of idleness. She felt more refreshed and invigorated now than after her usual cold morning shower and black coffee. In her mind, there were numbers of ideas - ideas for new blends and for marketing campaigns. Maybe even for that little tea shop Shizuru wanted to open back in the past...

Her outstretched hand touched nothing but the sheets, already cold. This dampened Natsuki's mood for a bit. After last night she really wanted that cuddle time before the whole day of whatever attractions Shizuru might have planned. Still, she thought that maybe her wife was already in the kitchen, making breakfast and keeping the gingerbread tin out of Kiyoko's reach. Reluctantly, Natsuki slipped out of bed, shivering when cold air hit her naked body.

A few minutes later, clothed in tight-fitting jeans and a loose shirt, Natsuki stepped through the dark and quiet house. The kitchen was empty and the bathroom bore no traces of Shizuru's presence either. In the living room, under the Christmas tree, she found her daughter, sleeping between her new toys, her mouth peppered with crumbs.

"Hey, Kiyoko, wake up." Natsuki shook the child into lucidity. "Where's mommy Shizuru?"

The girl rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times.

"Mommy said she needs to go." She yawned. "She'll be back for dinner."

Natsuki glanced at the wall clock, its hands indicating it was already past ten in the morning. Noticing a glass with milk smudges and an empty plate on the floor, she gathered that Shizuru took care of the girl's breakfast before leaving.

And then apparently left without a word, without a short note even, on the third day she bought Natsuki for.

"Kiyoko," the woman crooned, to keep the child awake. "Did mommy tell you where she's going?"

The girl looked away, worrying her lower lip and tightly hugging her new doll. At Natsuki's insistence, she whispered:

"She told not to tell you."

Natsuki's humour, so positive and almost festive not so long ago, turned completely sour. Not wanting to vent her anger on the child, she kissed Kiyoko's dark head.

"Ok, go back to playing. If you need anything, mom will be in her study."

The girl nodded, even if a tad uncertainly, so Natsuki stroked her head and moved to her study.

Here, she could fume all she wanted. Seething with annoyance, she sat by her desk, slamming her hands onto it. How could she?! Setting this whole thing up, taking two days out of Natsuki's life, filling them with mindless trifles and then disappearing with no explanation. No, wait, with an explanation - or more precisely, getting their child mixed into her game. She wanted to play a game? Natsuki could play it as well. The businesswoman reached for her suitcase and pulled out some documents. Their agreement didn't say anything about working from home so she was still adhering to the rules they set.

The plan was to read through the proposals on Otome Infusions politics for the upcoming year, wait till Shizuru's return and then pretend that nothing happened. Yet, after a quarter or so, Natsuki became restless. She couldn't focus on the writings, her mind constantly going out to Shizuru's unexpected absence and her reasons for forbidding Kiyoko to talk. She needed something else to keep her occupied, something more creative.

Not knowing when or how, Natsuki found herself in her old workshop. To her surprise, the room was clean and all her ingredients in good condition, as if somebody was taking care of the place. She put the water on and reached for the first up container. Not without surprise, she discovered that she had an idea for a blend in her mind already and that oolong she found in the container wouldn't fit for the base. A heartbeat later, she knew what would, though.

* * *

A few hours have passed since Natsuki entered her workshop and finally she got the blend just right, pinpointing the exact balance of flavours she was looking for. Elated with her creation, she almost run to the door, eager to share it with her most faithful critic.

Only to stop in her tracks when she remembered that Shizuru left her this very morning.

Someone rapped lightly at the door. When Natsuki turned the handle, she saw Kiyoko with tears in her eyes. She kneeled before her daughter, who took a half-step back.

"Hey, young lady," started Natsuki softly, wondering what brought the child to such state. Then it dawned on her that she just proved a terrible parent, leaving Kiyoko unattended for so long. "Are you hungry?" The girl shook her head vehemently, her lips trembling. "Then what is it? Tell me, I won't get angry."

"Mommy's not back…" sniffled eventually Kiyoko, stepping closer to Natsuki's open arms. "She promised Kiyoko to come back."

Natsuki gathered the girl in her arms, cradling her for a moment, before asking:

"Can you tell me where she's gone to? Then we can go and look for her."

Kiyoko looked away, biting her lower lip. She was in such an obvious distress that the businesswoman made a mental note to lecture her wife on forcing such promises from the child…

"Mommy went to the hospital."

… but then her world crumbled.

* * *

The doctor's office was sterile and unwelcoming. Natsuki, despite being used to negotiating in various conditions, felt nervous and unfocused. Her heart was beating erratically, the prolonged wait for the elder, grizzly man to speak only making it harder for her to breathe.

"Mrs Kruger," the doctor eventually started, resting the file on his desk. "I'm afraid I don't have any good information for you."

Natsuki gulped and braced herself for the bad news.

"Your wife came in this morning with a severe case of circulatory and pulmonary failure. It is a wonder she managed to report on her own, in fact." The man consulted the file once more. "We immediately started her on medications but around noon she suffered cardiac arrest."

"What~?!"

"We managed to bring her back but she didn't regain consciousness ever since. Right now, she's in ICU with a constant need of life support." The doctor clasped his hands and sent Natsuki an apologetic look. "Mrs Kruger, I'm afraid that with your wife's condition the chances of her recovery are close to none. I am sorry."

Natsuki blinked a few times, unable to grasp the meaning of the physician's word. Refusing to grasp it as if understanding meant accepting.

"But how? Why?" The woman shook her head. "She has never had any health problems. How can a woman her age go from healthy to dying in a matter of hours?" Pale hands, even colder than usual, clenched on Natsuki's thighs into fists. "I-I don't get it."

The doctor sighed, obviously in two mind about what he was about to say.

"Mrs Kruger…" He took the file, leafing through its contents if only to keep his hands occupied. "Fifteen months ago, your wife has been diagnosed with systemic sclerosis sine scleroderma. It's a disease causing vascular and fibrotic damage to internal organs, eventually leading to their failure." The man pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. "Usually, with the right treatment, prognosis for ten years survival are very high and more favourable for women. My guess would be that some prolonged stress caused the disease to progress more rapidly." He closed the file. "There are still many things we don't about the SS."

"She never… she didn't tell me a thing…" Natsuki rubbed her face and took a glance at the glass door, outside which Kiyoko has been waiting, looked after by nurses. "Can I-can we see her?"

A few minutes later, Natsuki was already sitting by her wife's side, with Kiyoko on her lap. In a strained voice, she tried to explain to their kid what was happening with Shizuru.

"... and this tube helps mommy to breathe, ok?" Kiyoko nodded. "Good, and now we just have to wait till mommy wakes up. Because she will. She will wake up."

In spite of her words, she couldn't help but shudder at the image of Shizuru tangled in various cables, with IVs dripping medicines into her veins and machines beeping at regular intervals. So focused was Natsuki on believing in her wife's recovery, that she didn't feel her child's hand reaching up to wipe the tears off her face.

* * *

_**There you have it. It's been pleasure writing for you, girls and boys.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Guess what, I found an epilogue for this story dusting on my hard drive :P**_

* * *

**Two years later**

"How's it going, Miss Author?" Natsuki leaned over the counter, looking curiously at the dark-haired guest on the other side.

The woman she just spoke to kept writing for a while, her pencil moving in a quick, ragged manner. Eventually, she finished and pushed the glasses up her nose.

"Almost done." She beamed at the tea shop owner. "Just a final scene left. An epilogue of sorts, if you will."

"What kind of ending will it be?" Natsuki asked with curiosity. Waiting for the writer to organize her papers, she filled a tea infuser and placed it in a kettle, pouring hot water over it. "I think I like the bitter-sweet ones the most. You know, the ones that make you keep thinking 'what if' and leave just a sliver of hope."

"Haha, sorry to disappoint, but I'm a hopeless romantic and always suck for happy endings." The writer sniffed the air. "Mmm… smells lovely… what is it?"

Natsuki waited a few moments more, letting the blend brew properly, poured the drink into two cups and set one of them in front of the other woman.

"But I didn't order it," she tried to refuse. "My budget is tight as it is. I think I've already overspent on your wonderful creations, Ma'am." The woman sent Natsuki a sheepish smile.

"This one's on the house if you let me read that story when it's finished."

"It's a deal." Taking a sip, the writer focused on a familiar bitter taste, mellowed significantly by some other flavour after a while. "How… how do you call this one?" She took another sip and smiled contentedly.

"It doesn't have a name because it's not for sale." The tea shop owner shrugged her arms, drinking from her own cup. "This blend reminds me about the most important thing in my life: my family. The tea's for my wife, coffee seeds would be me and that sweet hint of chocolate - my daughter."

They finished the drinks in silence. After that, the writer gathered her papers and stuffed them in a messenger bag, hanging it over her shoulder.

"Thanks for everything, Ma'am. This place is really inspiring." She pulled a woollen beanie onto her head. "It's a pity I couldn't have met your wife."

"Yes, that's a pity…" repeated quietly Natsuki, watching the other woman leave. Soon though, her face lightened up, when through the same door her daughter passed. Kiyoko was becoming lovelier and smarter by day and whenever Natsuki saw her in her school uniform, her heart swelled with pride. "How was your day, young lady?" she asked the girl who shoved her schoolbag under the counter.

"Boring." Kiyoko loosened the bow on her shirt. "We were learning where different countries are. You taught me that already."

"Did Akkun know them already too?"

"Mom!" The girl blushed furiously, before climbing on her toes and kissing her mother's cheek. "Can I go and visit aunt Youko now? She invited me to come and play with their little boy."

Natsuki acceded but didn't let the girl go without hugging her.

"Tell Midori I'll stop by the office tomorrow morning, before opening the shop!" she shouted when the girl reached the door. Small handwave was the only answer she got, causing her to grumble. "She grows up much too quickly for my liking."

"Ara, soon all the boys in the neighbourhood will be following her." A pair of well-known arms encircled Natsuki's waist, closing her in a warm embrace.

"Remind me to get my firearms permit one of this days." Natsuki allowed herself to sink deeper into the embrace when a familiar chuckle burst out by her ear. "Did you rest properly?"

"Yes, Mom. I took my nap and I took my pills," Shizuru answered playfully, completely unmindful about her wife's reprimanding gaze. "And now I would gladly take something else."

Natsuki lightly smacked the other woman's wandering hands.

"Insatiable as ever! And in broad daylight, on top of that."

"Ara, whatever do you mean, my love?" The brunette smiled with innocence, reaching for the kettle and pouring herself a cup of tea. "I wanted to try that _family_ of yours. I heard it's pretty good."

"The best, Shizuru." Natsuki smiled tenderly. "It's the very best."

* * *

_**This is the end. For real this time.**_

_**Forgive me this shameless self-insert but I couldn't help it :p**_

_**And since the Orthodox are celebrating Christmas today, let me repeat to them - and to all of you: Merry Christmas! May the Newborn God bless you and fill you with love and joy :)**_

_**Thank you for reading, following, favouriting and reviewing!**_


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